Transcendence of Ego. Let go of Expectations while Recovering. 🙏🇮🇳 🇪🇸

When you yield to the presumptive problems rather than rejecting and resisting them, healing takes place. Everything around you collaborates to help and enhance your recovery. Everything seems to be teaming up on your side.

At first, when physical challenges arise it all seems dark for a moment. You put yourself in a room with only two doors, continue pushing or give up and return. Your weakest thoughts tend to take control and it is all because of the high identification with the body. Again, the ego shows up. The ego does not like to let go of its identities. In this case, the attachment and expectations to the body. The fear of dis-ease.

After having pain in my knees for a while, especially after the trekking in Nepal and in the yoga teacher training, I reached a point of absolute constant discomfort. Perhaps I should have rested a little longer after being in the hospital in October where I lost a little muscular strength… I know. Instead we went to Nepal right away. I knew the whole time that there was something that was not right with the knees. However, instead of listening to the inner intelligence of the body, I allowed others to influence me by saying “It is okay, you’ll be fine, don’t think about it too much”.

You have been teaching and preaching “listen to your body”. However, when it is time for you to do that you don’t do it. Are you afraid of being seen as weak? You have been pushing it and now it is time to stop and redirect. Same story repeats in the sense of worrying about what others think. Rather than focusing on your strengths and not wasting time on even thinking about what others might think.

Initial thoughts after going to the doctor while at the farm in India:

“I should have done something earlier before it got to this point. What am I going to do if I am physically not strong and useful? What am I going to do for the rest of my life? Would this be chronic? I can’t practice physical yoga, how am I even going to sit in meditation with so much physical discomfort? I have lost my clarity.”

Who is in control here? BODY CONSCIOUSNESS! Result? Confusion, despair, comparisons, and instability.

Transformation begins to take place once I am aware that I am the awareness behind my thoughts. I am not my thoughts, I don’t identify myself with them. I create new thoughts.

Second thoughts, after catching the wrong direction of the stream of thinking:

“It is such a great opportunity to have bodily issues now. It is giving you the opportunity to move forward faster and faster. It is inviting you to spiritually FLY (First Love Yourself) and skip many years of practice. In just one second, you can jump ahead. For this, practice now. Rather than pushing it away, accept it, embrace it and move forward. There is so much growth ahead of you. Do not miss it by wearing the wrong glasses. Do not be shadowed and therefore influenced by negative reflections. Free yourself now from the voice of the egoic self and recognize illusion as illusion. Acknowledge the state of this body, take time to take care of it and then put it aside. Do not let it be the main actor throughout your whole day.”

Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment.

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

I always talk about keeping harmony between your thoughts, words, and actions. Now I need to check with myself. Are they all in harmony within myself? It does not feel like they always are, and there is no shame about it. We have to treat ourselves with love and compassion, no matter what.

I am taking action, the doctor recommended full rest for at least a month and physiotherapy. Ignorance is no longer a part of me and constant help is coming my way. The Varanashi family has been extremely accommodating and helpful. I will always be extremely thankful that it all happened while being here. Thank you! Rakshith, the soul acting as the physiotherapist. Mitch, being extremely supportive as always, and showing the unconditional love no matter the stage or the condition of the body.

Today, on January 24th, I just experienced my first awareness of “not being this body”. It does not happen by constantly repeating “I am not this body”. It happens by shifting the awareness from the external form and from the thoughts, to allow the aliveness inside of it to express itself. I followed the instructions of a book I was reading in this moment. I started experiencing a tingling sensation first in the hands, then feet, legs, knees (giving it special love), all the way to the shoulders, arms and lastly in the face. It is a similar sensation to when you rub your hands together creating heat and then feeling the energy between the two. In this case without doing any physical movement and without listening to the talkative mind. Simply by concentrating on each part of the body and allowing it to express its essence. It does not mean that there are many parts and many essences. It is all part of ONE.

In these days I have allowed myself to experience the interconnectedness with everything around us. (Yes… I have had some free time on my hands… hehe!). I have always heard about this term and even spoke about it without fully understanding it. It is because I had never experienced it. It is such a gift to be here in a small section of what I call nature paradise, because it is easier to let yourself merge with it.

I used to have a great deal of dislike towards ants and some specific insects. I have taken the time to observe how they work together and it is such a wander. It is all about our perceptions. I am feeling a deep love and respect towards everything around us including these insects, and trust me there are a lot of different kinds around here in South India. The usual immediate response would be to smash them when they are around you. As if they were consciously planning some evil attack towards you. It is not like I am now innocently grabbing them or petting them I still have huge respect for them, just observing more. It is not a matter about “being positive with everything”. It is a matter of just letting everything be, being smart about it of course.

We are all ONE. We are connected to everything around us. It is easily forgotten since we have labeled everything and therefore prevented from seeing the uniqueness and true nature of things. Observing a scene in nature we can look at the trees, leaves, plants, fruits, water, birds, and insects. By using these names we are boxing these energy expressions and we prevent ourselves from simply sensing and letting them reveal themselves to us. We want to name them rather than waiting for them to introduce themselves. Once we taste the experience of allowing every little thing in this earth to reveal itself to us, we can feel a deep connection to it. When we stop labeling and judging, we allow everything to just BE.

How about with other human beings? Are we also connected? We are beings having a human experience. The labeling of I, me, my, and mine, has destroyed the awareness of our true nature. This sense of separation and isolation makes us forget where we are coming from and why we are here. We come here to play our part. When we look at other human beings, let us not get trapped in the illusion of ego, that which we are not. Let us see through the names, roles, race, sex, shape, and opinions. Let us experience transformation from seeing into being ONE with the universe as a whole.

We are connected to everything as we are connected to the Source of all life from which it all came. The Higher Being, the Supreme Soul, the attractive energy field that acts as the fountain of endless love, peace, purity, happiness, power, and wisdom.

I am feeling stronger and stronger and it just shows how much I have yet to learn. Travelling like this is not always easy. It is not about the places we go to, even though the journeys tend to be quite interesting. It is about the journey inside. We don’t have to physically move anywhere to realize and to have a closer relationship with who we truly are. We tend to make ourselves busy with our daily routines. A trip like this can also be very “busy” especially with wanting to live new experiences, meeting new people, searching for places, suffering from not having the usual facilities and commodities, etc. It can be a huge distraction. Again, it is all relative. There are just many different paths that guide us back home. We should never attempt to take the same one as our companions in life.

Each of us is unique and will therefore have a unique experience.

I was not thinking about sharing all this, it just felt incredibly good and relieving to put it into writing. Then I thought, many of us go through similar situations even if they appear to be completely different. I believe that we can help each other by sharing, as long as we don’t get trapped in the name, forms, and comparisons. There is no need to be afraid anymore of what others think, this statement and Mitch, pushed me to sharing. Oh! There is no need to worry because physically it might seem that there are some struggles, yet I am seeing it all as opportunities.

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Today, February 14th, we are in Spain. We took action a little further and we made the decision to come back here. It took a lot of reflection to make this decision and we are now very happy and grateful for having made it. Everything that has happened has been the perfect piece to continuously fill in the puzzle. The doctor has said that it’s going to be long process to recover. It seems that I have completely overuse them and there are issues with the cartilage and the tendons. I believe now more than ever before that everything happens for a reason and that to teach patience we first have to experiment with it.

I have been putting all my energy to healing these little knees. I am walking with so much awareness and focusing on strengthening the muscles to avoid any further damage on the knees. I am starting physiotherapy In the end it is just another lesson in life.

Namaste and lots of love to you all,

Masé